From Frustration to Affirmation

So this week I realize that I found myself easily frustrated and somewhat overwhelmed. It isn’t even that I had lots of negative stuff going on. Though things in my life are going quite well, I just felt off. I knew that I needed to spend some quiet time alone with the Lord to get to the bottom of my feelings. Now, I’ve read many posts and heard many sermons where someone says, “you need to spend more quiet time with the Lord.” And I used to wonder what that looked like. Now, in my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we keep it spontaneous. There’s no mandatory way that I must approach His presence. There isn’t even a mandatory place. There are no mandatory words. If I feel angry, I can tell him. if I’m hurt, I tell him. If I’m busted and disgusted…well you get the picture (smile). I just get to a private place away from everyone and the noise of the world and talk to Him. I confess my sins if I’m convicted. I thank Him for what he’s done. Sometimes, I lay on the pillow and just wait quietly for his voice. Sometimes I sing songs from my heart. Sometimes I read His Word or write my feelings in my journal. And at times, I just sit and cry until I get relief.

Well tonight I knew what I needed to do that had been well overdue. I needed to unplug (make myself unavailable to all but Him) and be renewed and restored. See in all areas of my life I’ve taken it up a notch. In my home, I’ve been working on being more organized. I’m even planning our meals and schedule for the week and posting them on the fridge for the family to see. At work, I’m a lead now with more responsibility. In ministry, at my church there is more responsibility and I feel God calling me to do more personally to “help hurt hearts heal.” I recognize that deep down I’m not sure if I’m able to do all this and do it well. There is still some doubt that I have to deal with.

I did what I said I was going to do at the beginning of the year. Make a book of affirmations. I have a journal that I write down thoughts, prayers, vision etc. But the book of affirmations is something different. It will be a quick reference for me to read those things that God has said to me and about me! Those things that I need to remind myself of. I only filled up one page and I immediately felt relief. I just needed a reminder of what my spirit already knew. I’m Graced to do this!

Welcome – Broken and Not Ashamed

We all have different defining moments in our lives. Beautiful moments that are so captivating that it seems time stands still; I think of falling love, the birth of a child, experiencing the beauty of nature. Moments of failure that make us either retreat and give up or regroup and try again. Moments of great victory or achievement and the satisfaction that comes with it. And then moments of brokenness where we literally feel like Humpty Dumpty and wonder who can put us back together again. I will use this blog to share my past, present, and future journey of being broken but not ashamed. Though my journey has at times been tough, there has also been a great deal of growth, gratefulness, and compassion for others that are feeling broken as well. Welcome to Broken and Not Ashamed; A Journey to Freedom!