Have you ever suffered a bad break-up or divorce and was left feeling devastated? Have you ever been so tied to someone and your plans for the future that you just can’t imagine life without them?
That was me! I became so obsessed with having a relationship and refused to admit that I failed so I did everything I could to keep it together. Even after the divorce I was consumed with making it work to the point of completely losing my self worth and common sense!!!
I had to be publicly humiliated before I hit rock bottom. I realized from age 18 through my 20s I was trying to deal with my little girl issues meanwhile trying to make someone want to be with me that just didn’t!
I remember coming to my senses and thinking enough is enough and realizing I had no idea who I really was. I had to take some time to work on me. To heal the little girl within and to get to know the woman I had become.
I know for someone reading this right now it feels like the end of the world. It’s not, don’t waste time thinking of what could have, should have or would have. Work your way through it…it’s really a beautiful new beginning!
I’m a witness. Smooches
You need to have a talk with yourself every now and then. No, really you should check in daily! I know, I grew up hearing people say you were crazy if you talked to yourself. But I’ve been talking to myself since I was a little girl. My conversations with myself have just gotten longer and deeper. I have been able to recognize my weaknesses, celebrate my strengths, encourage myself in life’s test and trials, and have learned to truly love ME!
Sometimes you need to just ask yourself: What do I really want? Why am I acting out? What’s really going on with me?
And after you ask. Be quiet and let your soul answer you!
Psalm 42:5 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance.
Have you had a talk with yourself lately? Might be time for you to check-in and see how you are “really” doing!
Happy Monday!!! Have you planned out your week? There are many blog posts about planning out time, tasks, appointments, workouts, and meals for the week. My Neice, Monica Bundy, who happens to be owner of Get Fit Stay Fit Too always plans out her calendar for the week. I admit I didn’t think it was necessary.
But I must say since I’ve implemented planning into my weekly routine I’ve seen the following benefits:
- I’m saving money on eating out during the week because I plan my meals. I notice we are not getting bored by eating the same “go to” meals.
- I am remembering appointments and noticing when appointments are conflicting and something needs to be rescheduled. I admit in the past if it wasn’t for the text/email reminders I would have missed some.
- I’m able to respect my time by saying NO when necessary. I can look at my calendar and see in advance that I won’t be able to make a commitment.
- I’m getting my real “To Do” list done! Instead of a laundry list that seems to large to tackle, it is spread across my week. If it slips a day, I move it to a slot when I have extra time.
If you wear many hats: wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, caregiver, minister, coach, leader, employee, businesswomen. You need to plan. But don’t take planning too serious, and remain flexible. Plans will change!
In your planning don’t forget to set aside quiet time with the Lord to check in to ensure that your priorities are His will for you in this season. Always include a special appointment for yourself each week. Pencil in that mani/pedi, hair appointment, shopping trip, lifetime movie, walk in the park or even just a bubble bath!!!
“Put on your oxygen mask first…” I understand that I am graced by God to care for the husband, children, family, business and ministry that He has given me. However, there are times when I get completely overwhelmed, shut down and am no good to anyone! How can I (and you if you have the same issue) keep this from happening:
- Include myself and my needs to my daily “to do list” and prioritize accordingly
- Say “no”when I know I can’t meet a commitment. If something changes and I can support, show up, and participate then what a great surprise! Not being able to fulfill a commitment feels terrible.
- Don’t try to be superwoman. A good leader knows how to delegate and empower her team. I won’t assume that people know how to help me. I will tell them what I need them to do and Be specific!!!
These are some things I’m implementing TODAY! God is blessing me and opening doors, I must be prepared for even more responsibility.
Comparison is not just the thief of contentment but it’s one of the easiest ways to self-sabatoge and prevent you from experiencing joy in the life you are currently living.
Social Media has unfortunately made it even easier for us to compare our lives to others. When we compare our looks, relationships, financial status, material things etc with others we really aren’t comparing apples to apples. It’s more like comparing apples to eggplants (not sure why I chose eggplants lol).
If you can admit that you have fallen into the trap of comparison try the following ways to find contentment:
- Take a daily inventory of the things you are thankful for and cherish them. Thank your heavenly Father for blessing you in that area. Someone is praying for what you already have!
- Take an inventory of things you don’t like about yourself (you CAN’T change anyone else). Do something RIGHT NOW to change it. Maybe that sounds too simple but start small and take steps to change each day. Eat a healthy meal, go to the gym or for a walk, change your hair, forgive yourself for that mistake you made, go to a conference, schedule a class, read a book, apply for a better job, break-up with that deadbeat (sorry I had a flashback to my former life lol)! You get the picture, do what you can today!
- Immediately, stop comparing yourself to others and wishing you had “their” life. You have no idea what it costs them to get and keep it! Maybe you need a social media break while you work on yourself.
I pray this blesses someone today! One of the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself is to stop comparing!!!!
I just got the sweetest “thinking of you” message. My husband sends me messages throughout the day to let me know I’m on his mind but this was from a friend and completely unexpected. I don’t know about you but I feel special knowing that out of all the thoughts that go through a woman’s mind a day:
- Got to get the kids to school on time.
- What will we have for dinner?
- How will I do my hair today?
- I hope there is gas in the car!
- Who moved my keys?
- I wish I was on vacation!
- These shoes hurt my feet!
That one of those thoughts would be about ME! If you are thinking about someone, let them know. You just might make their day!
I haven’t posted in a while, I returned from travel and made a drastic change to my schedule that took some adjusting to. I am now “a morning person!” Yes I’m the first person in the office greeting everyone else with a smile and a boost of optimism about the day! Why did I fight this for so long?
I declared “I’m not a morning person” for most of my adult life. I usually worked a later shift and was the last to arrive and therefore the last to leave for the day for years. Everyone had finished catching up on email, drinking their coffee and eating their breakfast by the time I was just logging in. No wonder I always felt like I was playing catch up.
Now I can’t take the credit for this change. My husband actually decided that he would become a morning person and changed his schedule. I decided to try it and have officially made the change.
The point of me sharing my excitement about waking up to the rising of the sun is: You can change! Yep you can change. What confessions are you making that are not beneficial to your life?
- “I’m not a people person”
- “I’m just not good at public speaking”
- “I can’t lose weight”
Whatever it is you’ve been telling yourself that does not benefit your life, change it!
I’m a morning person!